he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
My breath smells like gin and sadness
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
