I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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