dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
it was like eating out sand paper
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
