she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
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