now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
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