carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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