Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
Randomize
