if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
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