wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
