i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize
