I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Randomize
