the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
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