Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
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