i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Randomize
