no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
