we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Randomize
