I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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