if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Randomize
