So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Randomize
