i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Randomize
