Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
Randomize
