Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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