Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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