I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
