p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
