I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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