So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
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