it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
