I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Randomize
