Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
