I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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