The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
Randomize
