On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
