I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
