you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
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