The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
Randomize
