Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
