we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Randomize
