? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
