I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
