He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
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