how can u be prego again
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
Randomize
