I just made out with a guy for $7.
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
Randomize
