Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
Randomize
