Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
