you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
