No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Randomize
