I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
