It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
Randomize
