it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
I will pee on everything he values.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
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